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Isnt he great?

이 글은 계정이 없는 손님이 작성한 글입니다.
* 시스템에 의해 이유없이 삭제될 수 있습니다.
* 글의 작성자라면 다음과 같이 관리가 가능합니다.
- 씬디 계정이 있다면 "소유권 주장" 클릭
- 계정이 없다면 "소유권 주장 및 계정만들기" 클릭
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But he doesn't know that

어디서 왔지?
[["synd.kr", 16], ["unknown", 125]]
다른 글들
3 4

know nothing

내가 잘 모르는 것에 대해서는 절대 말하지 않는다. 왜냐하면, 잘 모르기 때문이지. 그렇다고, 잘 아는 것에 대해서도 거의 이야기하지 않는다. 왜냐하면, 오류가 있을 수 있기 때문이지.

정말 중요한 것은, 나만 아는 진실도 절대 이야기 하지 않는다. 왜냐하면, 이건 타자에게선, 잘 모르는 것이거나, 잘 알지만 확신할 수 없는 것이니까, 그로 인해 다른 인지적 편향을 일으키지 않기 위해서야.

당신은 도대체 무슨 말을 하고 있는 것인지 스스로 제대로 알고 말을 하는 것인가? 적어도, 고등교육을 받았으면 하지 말아야 할 것과 해야 할 것을 구분해야 하지 않을까? 그냥 내가 지금 옳다고 믿는 것을 그대로 주창하면 속이 편한 것일까? 의문이 많아.

그러니까, 그냥 술이나 마시자.
0 1

Being me

"Mom,Mom! Are you alright? Where are you?" If something goes wrong with her it's will all be my fault. I shouldn't have leaved her alone and come to Forks..."Bella? Bella, bella! Bella, where are you?" Rènee! She's here, she's alive. She's going to be okay...
I've never given much thought to how I would die-though I'd had reason enough in the last few months- but even if I had, I would have not imagined it like this. Still, I can't get myself to regret this decision. The decision that made me come here to die. Because I loved her as much as I loved Edward.
"Bella, Bella!"
"Mom, I suck."
"You do not suck! You're a wonderful dancer."
"Everybody is making fun of me…"
 This talk was oddly farmilliar. Then I knew.
 "No..." It was all I could say. He tricked me to death. 
I thought I was ready, But I wasn't. I was never ready. Even I don't die and become a vampire, I will not be able to live. I wasn't ready. Yet. Or I thought I wasn't.
"Oh...dear...You were a stuborn child, wern't you?" His cruel voice was screeching. It was too horrifying but also beautiful. "What have you done to her??" He must be out of mind. "Don't worry. She's safe in Jacksonville. She doesn't even know you're here." At least my mother was safe. "But still, you made things too easy...It isn't much fun. Is it? I wanted to see your dear Edward's feeble atempt to save you. So, to make things more entertainainig, I'll send this little film of our time together to your mate. Is it okay?" No! Then, he'll be in danger…"No! Absolutely not! He...he has nothing to do with this!" But he merly chuckled. "He absolutly has every thing to do with this. I borrowed this camera from your house, and I hope you don't mind. Good. And, Action!" 
What? 
He was a monster. A cruel monster who played with his food. I was the victim tonight. 
Edward, Edward! 
The moment we kissed for the first time shook my thoughts. It was all I could think about. If I have to die, I will die a graceful death, thingking the happiest moment in my life. I could almost see his pale white, blazing cold fingers wiping my warm cheekbones all the way to my lips and collarbones.
I could die for him. I just wished that victoria wouldn't touch him. 
No. He was strong enough. He will survive through this. I know it.
But me...I was just a fragile human. Too easy to break. Even James just flings a finger, my head could brek in a second.
But I still had to survive this. Run away if possible.
How could I distract him?
                                         ~oOo~
"Bella, take this pepper spray. This will make me a bit more relived."
 "Well...I don't know…I mean, all thus animal attacks, it happens very rarely." 
"Please. I bet Edward will approve it too. He's like crazy about your safety."
                                         ~oOo~
I don't know why, but this memory just popped out of my head. It wasn't for sure but, this might work. But not for long.
"Tchhh" Suddenly, my feet seemed to be glued on the floor. I couldn't move. I was scared.
"Ha, Ha, Ha. Did you reay think that the pepper spray will work?" He was furious at me for trying to live. But what else could I do? Just sit down and wait for my life to end? I had to do something. And then, he tossed me like anrag doll. "CRACK!" Oww… My head was bleeding. Wait, blood? He was a vampire. He was not even a vegetarian.
"Tell him!! Tell him how much it hurts!!" Suddenly, he pressed my leg under his foot with all his strength. I couldn't feel anything for a second. But then, the pain struck me. My leg was snapping under his freezingly cold fingers. All I could think about was the pain in my leg. I had to make it go away. But how? I tried to scream. But his too-tight-fingers were pressing my lips like a cold stone, making me unable to say anything. I had to do something.
No, that was not the important thing. I couldn't see well because of my blazzing pain but, I could feel his icy lips on my left arm.
I thought 'I will die.'
And then, the coldness was gone. Other coldness filled me again. But now, it was a familia and cozy coldness.
My nosetrills flared. I could smell Edward's raspberry-mint flavoured breath. I had to have it more. It made my pain go away. I had to gulp the air around me.
"Bella, I'm so sorry. I'll take you to carlisle and treat you." His velvet voice made my every single bodypart melt. I could taste his sweet flavour. Treating my broken leg was not the important thing now. Being with him was.
"Edward….Edward, don't go! Don't…" He stood up suddenly. Don't go! I can't live without you! I don't need anything in except for you. "I'm not going anywhere. Hold on tight." His pained whisper made my heart reap. He shouldn't be in pain. Was he hurt? Then I knew. He was not hurt. Watching me hurt was hurting him.
"We'll jump." Then, we bounced up in the sky. I thought we were free.
But we wern't.
"I won't let you go." James had jump to make us fall.
We crashed down the hall. I could see clearly again. James was strangling edward's neck!
"You came here because you are faster than the others. But not stronger." He was lunatic. Absolutely lethal as Laurent said.
"I'm strong enough to kill you!"
But then, he crashed into the floor. James was strong. He began to run. But where was he runing to? He was getting closer to me by every second.
"No!" He was coming to bite me.
Edward! Please come and save me!
But he was nowhere near me and the lunatic vampire was crouching toward me. His cold hands covered my ankles. I tried to get out of his hand but he was too strong.
It all happened in a second. At first it was a pleasant warmth. But as the clock ticked by, it grew hotter and hotter. 
Warm. Hot. Fire. Too much fire!
I had too much fire in my body. My bones was shreiking in pain. It was a pain beyond pain. No one would know this pain if he havn't felt it.
James, snapping my legs under his foot. That was nothing. That was a soft place to rest on a feather bed. I'd take that now, a hundred times. A hundred snaps. I'd take it and be grateful.
Deep blue sea, drowning my breathes, trying to kill me. That was nothing. That was a floating in the cool pool. I'd take it a thousand times. Take it and be grateful.
"Carlisle!" Edward shouted for Carlisle. "We need to cure broken leg." No! Please make the fire go away! My broken leg wasn't important now. My left hand was burning fire. Not only my arm but my entire body was. "Alice, tie her legs upper than my hands. Unfasten your belt." His voice was buisness-like.
 Then he saw my arm where it was bitten by james.
Now, his voice turned iike he was in a great hurry.
"He bit her. We need to suck her venom out. Or there actually is another option...We could simply let the change happen."
The change? Me being vampire? It was a better option but my pain was too big to fight off.
I wanted him to suck up my venom. But will he be able to stop? We still had to try.
"Edward. Suck. The venom. Out. Now!"
It was all I could say. I could scream but, it was no good after all.
Seconds ticked by.
Did edward suck my venom up? 
No he didn't. I didn't feel the pain shrinking. I was becoming one of them. I knew that it was too late to suck it. 
The venom had already reached my heart.
                                         ~oOo~
[Edward]
When I arrived, James was almost biting her ankle. I don't think, I just lunge. I never have imagined that I would sacrifice myself for a little girl in my existance.
I never knew what was Alice like to Jasper.
I never understood clearly why they would rather die than to live alone.
But now, after a hundred years of practice for this very moment, I resisted human blood. When Carlisle told that resisting will make me more caring and loving, I didn't knew what he was talking about, but I could understand it now.
I never felt somthing similar to 'love' exept for my familly.
But the girl, a fragile, small and vulnerable girl made me feel that thing.
When she came into my life, when I finally found what a love was, when I first saw her, 
my heart began to beat again.
I was smiling again.
I found myself crazed and dazed by her small little smile.
It was like a midsummer night's dream.
1 1

Bring it all back - S club 7

Don't stop, never give up, 
Hold your head high and reach the top,
Let the World see what you have got, 
Bring it all back to you
Hold on to what you try to be your individuality, 
When the world is on your shoulders, 
Just smile and let it go,
If people try to put you down, 
just walk on by don't turn around;
You only have to answer to yourself,
Don't you know its true what they say, 
That life it ain' t easy,
But your time is coming around
Don't stop, never give up, 
Hold your head high and reach the top,
Let the world see what you have got, 
Bring it all back to you, 
Dream of falling in Love,
Anything you've been thinking of,
When the world seems to get to tough,
Bring it all back to you.
Try not to worry about a thing, 
Enjoy the good times life can bring,
Keep good all the solitude,
Got to let the feeling show,
Imagination is the key,
Because you are your own destiny, 
Never should be lonely when time is on your side.
Don't you know its true what they say, 
Things are said to try you, 
But your times is coming around,
(So don't stop trying) 
Don't stop, never give up,
Hold your head high and reach the top, 
Let the world see what you have got,
Bring it all back to you,
Dream of falling in Love,
Anything you've been thinking of, 
When the world seems to get to tough, 
Bring it all back to you.
Don't you know its true what they say,
Things happen for a reason,
But you times coming around,
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헤어지는 날

오늘이 헤어지는 날 인줄 알았으면,
좀 예쁘게 하고 나왔을 텐데.
마지막 모습 예쁘게 기억되고 싶은데.
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여행



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달은
해가 꾸는 꿈
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음식

꺆♥
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아....
손절해버렸다......
-비트코인 갤러리 유저-
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독립성

독립성은 성격과 관련없이 자라온 환경과 경험에 따라 길러지는 것이겠다는 생각이 문득 들었다.
나는 어른들에게 철이 일찍 들었다는 말을 들어오며 컸다. 그런데 그 독립성이 과연 내 성격 때문일까? 아니다. 3살 때부터 집에 혼자 남겨져 컸던 것이 시작이었다. 3살짜리가 혼자 할 수 있는 것이 무엇이겠냐. 하루종일 컴퓨터를 하면서 일찍 한글을 떼게 되었는데 그것이 부모님께 내 머리가 좋다는 잘못된 생각을 심어주게 되었다. 
초등학교에 입학했을 때는 성격이 갑자기 바뀌어 사춘기냐는 우스갯소리를 듣기도 했다. 친구도 없고 따돌림이나 당하는데 성격이 안 변할 수가 있겠나? 4학년 때까지 쭉 따돌림을 당했는데 지금 보면 그 나이에 그걸 혼자 버틴 것이 참 놀랍다. 너무 괴로워 도움 요청을 했는데 그건 따돌림이 아니라 장난이라고 치부하고 넘긴 그 선생님을 잊지 못한다. 그렇게 산전수전 다 겪고 자라다보니 아빠한테 "넌 4학년 때 이미 세상의 이치를 다 깨달았지 않냐" 라는 소리를 듣기도 했다. 
확실히 내 동생들은 별 힘든 일 없이 사랑도 잘 받으며 컸다. 학교와 집에서 맞지도 않고 동생이라 그런지 하는 짓이 어려도 오냐오냐 하면서 키워서 저 나이 때의 나와 비교를 하면 참 철이 없다고 느껴진다. 초등학교 1학년 때 "네가 애냐" 는 소리를 들었던 나에 비하면 너무 과대보호를 하는 것 같기도 하다. 2학년짜리가 물 떠달라고 고래고래 소리를 지르는걸 보면 저절로 한숨이 나온다. 맞고 욕 먹으며 크는건 물론 잘못된 것이지만 너무 철이 안 들어서 걱정이다. 
독립성은 성격마다 다르게 길러지는 것이 아니다. 감정소모를 최대한 줄이기 위해 환경에 적응하며 성격이 바뀌는 것이다.
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감정

감정은 마음 속 응어리를 풀기 위한 '도구'로는 참 적합한 존재에요. 다만, 휘둘리면 본인만 힘들뿐이에요.
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두려움

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여전함

근데 그 사람만큼은 영원할 것처럼 여전히,
그 자리에 머물러주었으면 좋겠다.